Good Riddance 2006

Well, here it is New Years Eve 2007 and not a moment too soon.
Brad and I still don't have plans.... But as long as we are together, that is my idea of a good start to the New Year.
2006 was sure not what I thought it would be, I would not wish what I went through on anyone, but I must admit, I am not only older, but wiser and I think a better human being.
I care for myself more, have healthier boundaries and lifestyle and a new home and for the first time, I am in love... I guess that is more than anyone can ask.

I look forward to turning 40 in a couple of weeks, but I really feel like I need to grow up some more. I don't know why, I am not irresponsible or immature, I just feel like life should be more serious at 40? Is that nuts?

Some resolutions: Lose weight, get in shape, dress up more, have more healthy fun and not be such a bitch.

Hmm, we'll see.

Christmas came and went and I survived. I went to Brad's parents' place and it was quiet and relaxing, although meeting the parents on Christmas Day is a little stressful, but I think it went well.

That's all for now.

Happy New Year everyone.

No word for the week. Just stay healthy and happy.

UPDATE: I am staying home ALONE on New Years eve. I could not be more unimpressed, uninspired and completely disillusioned.

ALMOST

Christmas is ALMOST here, which means it is almost OVER.... HOORAY.
My stomach has been upset all week.
I am definitely going to Brad's parents' place for dinner, I think it will be really nice. I will be nervous though, I will be meeting his brother and his mom for the first time.
I had the DELIGHT of meeting the Lovely Miss Ella Toes last weekend. I like to call her Ella Bella Sasquatch. (long story). She is SOOOOO sweet and loving. She LOVES the papa and she didn't sneeze at me either.
She has the cutest little dog belly.
She really has a sweet little personality and is a good hearted girl. So lovely!
I didn't think I could like Brad more, but meeting Ella Bella sealed the deal!
Last week Brad had to make soup for his turn at the weekly soup day for the teachers at school. He was so cute, he found some nice vegetarian recipes (yummy ones), wrote out all the ingredients, bought all the ingredients, had to do a Christmas family night at school and then come home after to cook the soup and promptly forgot both recipes at school. It was already after 8:00 so he decided to make the soups from scratch! One was a chile pepper soup and one was a mushroom/barley soup. I can't beleive he did it! And they both were really good and the ladies at school wanted the recipe! What a guy! He cooks!
I have to cook for Christmas, the deal is you bring 2 dishes to the Glenn house. I am probably just as freaked out about cooking as I am about Christmas. LOL, this should be an adventure. EEK!

I cannot wait for the whole deal to be over with and then just get to my 40th already! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!

Well, if you are reading this, then please have a Warm, Loving and Merry Christmas!!!

Word for the week: SNORT! The name of my future pug.... Hercules McSnort to be exact.

Meh...

Urgh. I hate Christmas. but i love Christmas. Well I used to love Christmas. I love what Christmas is supposed to be about. Giving, loving, being with those you love. I have the WORST screwed up feelings about Christmas, at least my hair is not falling out anymore. Up until about 2 years ago, my hair used to start falling out in September and I had really thin hair at Christmas and I don't even celebrate Christmas. I know that all the screwed up-ness is from my family. It is just constantly shoved in your face that you should be with your family. And I used to LOVE christmas sooo much when my mom was alive, she made it so special and it really was about being together. I also hate the commercialism, it totally sucks. I am HAPPY to not get Christmas Presents. I like to give them though...
Every year (except 2) in the last 15 years I have been alone on Christmas. I am lucky enough that people always ask me for Christmas but it is just a huge reminder of what I have lost. I have kind of made peace with it, but I still have no clue whether or not I am going to Brad's for Christmas this year. I know, I seem like I am looking a gift horse in the mouth, but my feelings are not going to change over night and I don't know if I will feel better or worse. It is a positive thing, but rife with unknowns. I have discussed with Brad just coming over for Christmas Dinner with his family. I am really seriously thinking about it.
I am currently sitting here working on my (sometimes) annual Christmas CD. I am loving the music, but it also makes me sad. Blah. Blah Blah... Of course my shrink wants me to journal about Christmas, but on top of not feeling well enough yet, I told her I am doing enough by making Christmas gifts, and by considering going to Brad's, if she really knew me she would know that THESE facts alone make it a Christmas miracle itself.
Okay, enough bah-humbuggery. ...
Pirate went to the vet and we special ordered the "SPECIAL" pellets he prefers. Of course, he has expensive taste and you cannot get these pellets in stores, but he is sooo worth it.
Brad, the wonder boyfriend is amazing and so wonderful, I am still truly blessed.
Of COURSE, I am not working... Blah that stupid goverment job was a joke. I HATE temp agencies.... Urgh. I don't even want to think about it.

I still have not met Miss Ella Toes, but I cannot wait to molest her.

All is fine. I need to get over my own self. sigh.

Word for the week: FEARLESS - what I hope to be once again... Now I am more on the mouse side and I hate it.... ACK to pussyfooting... BLAH ACK, MEH! and FEH! okay...

I am grateful for all the love I have right now... I REALLY need to get over my own self....

Bah Humbug... or not?

Well, lot's new. I am working again, although this is only my 2nd day and already I am blogging from work... I am temping at an Alberta Government job, alas, the opportunity to seduce the canine and play on the internet all day. I guess it is good to start out slow, but this is a bit much... Oh well, I should not complain, at least I can "handle" it. I was a bit concerned about coming back to work to soon, but I might as well get paid to do nothing. I know that sounds negative, but I am just really still ambivalent about the whole thing.
On a really happy HAPPY note, Brad the wonder boyfriend told me he LOVES me too! I was shocked, surprised and surprised at HOW HAPPY IT MADE ME!!!! So that is AWESOME... Brad just moved into a new place, he was supposed to move the weekend before last, but the guy (landlord) ended up being a real weasel and idiot and is now dicking around with Brad's deposit, but hey, SUCKS to be him (the weasel landlord). But Brad's new place is WAY better than the one before, it has style, charm, underground parking, hardwood floors, a dishwasher and is right close to all the necessary amenities and me. (yay!) and Brad's work. (yay!) AND Miss Ella Toes can come stay on weekends. HOORAY! I have not met her yet, I am terrified she is going to growl at me and hate me!!! EEK! I did meet Brad's Dad though, he was a totally cool guy and very sweet. I dug him.
Brad has asked me to join him for Christmas at his folks place. Which is so sweet and thoughtful. All my friends are like "DO it! Are you crazy?!" and of course I am freaked out by the whole thing. I think it is so generous of him to ask me, and so lovely of his family to have me, but of course, Christmas in general is like a nightmare for me.... I am seriously considering it, at least going for dinner later on. I don't know about the whole presents thing... But, how nice to be considered... Really. SO NICE!
Otherwise, I am pretty much feeling good, I am about 75% better. My new meds are working well and I seem to be pretty much back to normal, except I have a bit of an "inside voice" and that is good. I suppose. I don't have to act out at EVERYTHING... LOL.
Miss Peanut was STILL laying eggs, so the MEAN mama took away the Peanut Hut (aka happy hut), I just don't think it is healthy for the wee girl to lay all those eggs!
Monsieur Pirate is going to the Vet next week to get all his bits checked out. He is just over one year old. Awwww! I love those guys soooooooooo much.

So, all in all, life is pretty good. I am Blessed.

Word for the Week: PANTHER... cause I like saying it. It just trips off your tongue. Mrowr!