The "L" Word....

Well, I did it, I took the plunge... I told Brad, the wonder boyfriend that I love him. It was scary, but good, I had felt it for a little while and sat on it for about a week. I realized it when I went away for the weekend to Calgary, and being away from him just solidified it for me. I really missed him and I was reminded of all the great things about him. He is so compassionate, kind, funny, smart and so much more. His kindness really does it for me, he genuinely thinks about things. Don't get me wrong, he is still a guy's guy and can be totally clueless sometimes, but that's what is perfect about him. He is not a ball of mush, he is a real man with real emotions and also a guy's guy. I guess it is kind of weird. I am almost 40 and have never been in love before, I thought it would be all flowers and romance and all that stuff, but I am so glad it isn't. I know I can depend on Brad and that he has my back. He takes care of me when I need it and I take care of him when he needs it. I love spending time with him and we have so much fun together. He 'gets' me. Which I cannot even believe. After all this time I wasn't sure it was going to happen for me.
I am still just enjoying having a boyfriend and am in no rush to hurry along the relationship, I am just enjoying this new part of my life. I don't really care where it goes, I am not goal oriented in the relationship area. I would rather be with someone I really enjoy than worry about where we are. So that is good.
Eek, can you believe it? Me? Love? AAAAIIIIEEEEEeeeee....
On another happy note, I am starting to feel a bit better. I am not falling apart at every little incident, I am not back to my old self yet, but am feeling a little stronger every day. I can't wait for my 40th year... 39 started off great, but man, overall it has SUCKED but I am learning, which is good.

Word for the Week: FLOOMP!! and floomp! ... What Pirate does when he finds the perfect position on his favorite stuffed toy, he gets in position and then "FLOOMP" he flops on the toy and then his ears go "floomp". It is the cutest thing EVER!!! I can't even stand it!!!

P.S. no more eggs from Miss Peanut... yay...

Sex in the EX City

Ugh. I worked at the Taboo Sex Show with my friend from Fort McMurray last weekend. The show was in Calgary and it was a killer... I have never seen so many people that should NOT be having sex in my life... Every fat guy and girl, lots of old people and he/she's... So strange, but whatever, live and let live, as long as I don't have to have sex with them. It was so harsh...Calgary is sooooo not home anymore. I don't even like being there. It feels foreign and icky to me. Plus I worked my buns off and didn't know what I was doing, that was harsh too. Believe me, I commend anyone that can do that, but its not for me. I guess if it was something I was passionate about, it would be different, but I kind of volunteered to help without thinking about it. It was a lot of output with very little payback. I did get to see a friend of mine, which was awesome, we did not hook up last time I was through town, which I was bummed about, but we were able to spend a few hours together catching up, so that was great, he said he would try to make it to Edmonton for my 40th in January... (AIIIIIEEEEEE!!)

Other than that, I am still exhausted, depressed and getting a WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING done... I know I am making progress, my shrink says so, but day to day is pretty bad. I cannot focus, have no motivation and hate leaving the house. Luckily, I don't have to work right now, but soon enough, it will be another thing to stress about. Good news, Brad needed to move right away (less than 3 weeks notice) and was really stressed about it, understandably, but he found a place that is even closer to mine than the last place and also, he has underground parking and BEST of all, he gets to keep Miss Ella there on the weekends (his best four footed gal). I can't wait to meet her.
Things are going well with Brad and I. We have our moments, but all in all, things are great. He is so kind, thoughtful and such a good man. I really am crazy about him and still hot for him. YAY 2 months! that is like a record for me. And I still think he is the bees knees and supremely pounceable.
Miss Peanut is doing well, she has layed a couple of more eggs, but she seems content. The vet visit went well and she is all healthy, but a bit underweight.. Not for lack of eating though. The vet thinks because she has been laying eggs. I am not freaked out anymore and kind of glad to have a boy and a girl now... Pirate is as adorable as EVER.. that kid is so freaking cute, it is not even funny.

Word for the week: SCRAM! in honor of Miss Peanut

Sex? what sex?

Okay. I have been freaking for a whole day now. Like FREAKING.... I have had the Wee Peanut for 2.5 years... and last night, I found out that PEANUT is a GIRL... The kid has been laying eggs. ... I am still totally freaked out... What kind of crazy bird starts laying eggs all of a sudden? after 2.5 years??? I have been talking about my 2 boys (Peanut and Pirate) and everyone knows I have two sons..... OHMIGOD... I still can't take it in. I am taking Miss Peanut to the vet tomorrow. I am sure he/she is fine, but I want to make sure he/she has everything he/she needs since he/she decided to come out of the closet.... I don't know why I am so conflicted. I guess I liked being the only chick in the house.... and the only bitchy chick at that... LOL. Poor Miss Peanut... I got her/him a "happy hut" a few weeks ago and at first he/she ignored it, then sat ON it for a few weeks, and then finally went IN it and started laying EGGS.... Oh MAN.... I am like so freaked out. I don't love Peanut any less, Peanut is still Peanut... (there's no goodness in PEANUTS!)... so weird, eh???
I have been teasing Brad that I am going to make him EGGS for breakfast... that is the only joy I have been getting, is grossing him out with the thought of eating Peanut's eggs, for breakfast..., for one thing, as IF I would cook him breakfast... LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway...
Good news: I am FINALLY going for Walk & Groom orientation at the Edmonton Humane society tomorrow night... then... DOG LOVE, here I COME! I am PSYCHED to molest some fur babes...
Other than that, I am still not working and not even remotely close to ready to be working... Looks like I will be taking November off. Once I am back on my feet, I will be raring to go, but the time is DEFINITELY not now.
My bird and I are having an identity crisis. I am sure that Peanut is not having any kind of crisis at all, just the mama is. Maybe Peanut has just had PMS for the last 2.5 years... maybe that is why he/she is the one man/woman band of SCRAM!!!!!

Word for the Week: Grace - What Peanut and I will need to live in the house with another woman.... urgh.

Happy F-ing November

I give up. the more I try the worse it gets. I am done with giving a damn, it doesnt seem to matter.

I wish I was an ASSHOLE then I wouldn't give a damn.